Aspergers and Bullying
by Aspergers and Me
Although bullying has been briefly mentioned in a few of my previous blog posts, I have never dedicated a whole blog post to the subject and a friend of mine suggested that I do so as people on the autistic spectrum are highly prone to bullying so I thought I’d give it a go. This post is based on my observations so it won’t resonate with all of my readers with Aspergers but I hope it explains a bit.
I think pretty much every person with Aspergers has lived through bullying of some degree. This can range from incidents of name calling to severe physical abuse and everything in between. It seems to be a fact of life for many people on the spectrum but why exactly is that? I think there are a few reasons. READ MORE
by Aspergers and Me
Although bullying has been briefly mentioned in a few of my previous blog posts, I have never dedicated a whole blog post to the subject and a friend of mine suggested that I do so as people on the autistic spectrum are highly prone to bullying so I thought I’d give it a go. This post is based on my observations so it won’t resonate with all of my readers with Aspergers but I hope it explains a bit.
I think pretty much every person with Aspergers has lived through bullying of some degree. This can range from incidents of name calling to severe physical abuse and everything in between. It seems to be a fact of life for many people on the spectrum but why exactly is that? I think there are a few reasons. READ MORE
Don't do what the bullies want-or, meaning well isn't always doing well.
by Radical Neurodivergence Speaking
I am writing this mostly about a specific incident, but there are dozens of specific incidents it could easily be about.
This week, a video was released of a young man who thought he and some other kids were participating in the ALS ice bucket challenge. Instead of ice, the other kids dumped a bucket of sewage on this boy's head. And they filmed it, so as to spread the humiliation.
The boy's parents did something that displays a lack of thinking, a lack of empathy, a lack of understanding media, a lack of understanding bullies, or a combination of the above: They released the video to media. They released a video of their child being drenched in the contents of a toilet, taken to humiliate their son by spreading it, and it is now being seen worldwide. READ MORE
by Radical Neurodivergence Speaking
I am writing this mostly about a specific incident, but there are dozens of specific incidents it could easily be about.
This week, a video was released of a young man who thought he and some other kids were participating in the ALS ice bucket challenge. Instead of ice, the other kids dumped a bucket of sewage on this boy's head. And they filmed it, so as to spread the humiliation.
The boy's parents did something that displays a lack of thinking, a lack of empathy, a lack of understanding media, a lack of understanding bullies, or a combination of the above: They released the video to media. They released a video of their child being drenched in the contents of a toilet, taken to humiliate their son by spreading it, and it is now being seen worldwide. READ MORE
Other by A Diary of a Mom
We are standing outside the middle school that Katie will attend in the fall, chatting with another couple. We’ve all just taken a tour of the school as part of the stepping up process for our children.
We talk about the seventh graders who gave the tour – how poised and adorable they were. How much pride they took in their task.
We talk about how reassuring it was to see so many GLBT Safe Zone stickers on doors around the school; how wonderful it was to see the kid-made Anti Bullying posters covering so many walls; how great it was to peek in on the Health Class in the middle of a lesson on Cyber Bullying. READ MORE
We are standing outside the middle school that Katie will attend in the fall, chatting with another couple. We’ve all just taken a tour of the school as part of the stepping up process for our children.
We talk about the seventh graders who gave the tour – how poised and adorable they were. How much pride they took in their task.
We talk about how reassuring it was to see so many GLBT Safe Zone stickers on doors around the school; how wonderful it was to see the kid-made Anti Bullying posters covering so many walls; how great it was to peek in on the Health Class in the middle of a lesson on Cyber Bullying. READ MORE
6 Ways Parents Can Address Bullying
by Civil Schools
If you’re a parent of a school-aged child, it’s likely that you’ve been affected by bullying.
With approximately 30% of students reporting being bullied and far more being peripherally affected or even traumatized by bullying, it’s a weighing concern on parents’ minds.
I often will meet parents when I’m out at a party or on a long flight who, when they hear that I’m a bullying-prevention educator, immediately begin to impart their terrible story of childhood trauma and abuse or stories about their kids being bullied in school. READ MORE
by Civil Schools
If you’re a parent of a school-aged child, it’s likely that you’ve been affected by bullying.
With approximately 30% of students reporting being bullied and far more being peripherally affected or even traumatized by bullying, it’s a weighing concern on parents’ minds.
I often will meet parents when I’m out at a party or on a long flight who, when they hear that I’m a bullying-prevention educator, immediately begin to impart their terrible story of childhood trauma and abuse or stories about their kids being bullied in school. READ MORE
From "Bully" to Bullied
by Creigh at Autism Spectrum Explained
Autistic people are known for being blunt, having trouble reading others' reactions (not realizing someone is upset), and having difficulty reading social rules (as discussed further down). This combination has the unfortunate tendency to lead things that people on the autism spectrum say to sound "mean," even if there was no malice intended. [...]
Multiple incidents of 'mean' behavior then lead to the person with ASD being labeled a "bully." In our society, while we look down on bullies, retaliating against a perceived bully is not only acceptable, but encouraged. It is the ultimate form of irony, then, that the so-called "bully" actually ends up being hurt by true bullies, who act with full understanding of the pain they are inflicting. I think a journalist from Time said it best when she asked this question in her article on the subject, "Meanwhile, people without autism aren't supposed to be impaired in understanding others' pain, so what's our excuse?"
READ MORE
by Creigh at Autism Spectrum Explained
Autistic people are known for being blunt, having trouble reading others' reactions (not realizing someone is upset), and having difficulty reading social rules (as discussed further down). This combination has the unfortunate tendency to lead things that people on the autism spectrum say to sound "mean," even if there was no malice intended. [...]
Multiple incidents of 'mean' behavior then lead to the person with ASD being labeled a "bully." In our society, while we look down on bullies, retaliating against a perceived bully is not only acceptable, but encouraged. It is the ultimate form of irony, then, that the so-called "bully" actually ends up being hurt by true bullies, who act with full understanding of the pain they are inflicting. I think a journalist from Time said it best when she asked this question in her article on the subject, "Meanwhile, people without autism aren't supposed to be impaired in understanding others' pain, so what's our excuse?"
READ MORE
A Sad Story
by Autism Spectrum Wots Normal
The area where we live there is a small shopping complex approximately 15 minutes from our home. Within this shopping complex there is a post office, chemist, bakery, butcher, hairdresser and a mini supermarket that is owned by a married couple who are rude at the best of times.As my husband went to another shop I went to the mini supermarket to purchase some groceries, as it was quite busy the owner of the shop opened the spare cash register and began to serve the customers. READ MORE
by Autism Spectrum Wots Normal
The area where we live there is a small shopping complex approximately 15 minutes from our home. Within this shopping complex there is a post office, chemist, bakery, butcher, hairdresser and a mini supermarket that is owned by a married couple who are rude at the best of times.As my husband went to another shop I went to the mini supermarket to purchase some groceries, as it was quite busy the owner of the shop opened the spare cash register and began to serve the customers. READ MORE
On Bullying: Teaching kids that no matter the type or the target, it's never okay
by Creigh at Autism Spectrum Explained
I teach the kids I care for. I tell them, you know how you and your friends like to call each other silly names just for fun? Like your friend calls you Paul-poo-poo and you call him David-doo-doo? (Yes, kid sense of humor there.) What would happen if you called a kid who was not your friend that? Would they still think it was funny? Or might they think it was mean?
When we've established that it's the latter, I'll ask them how they know that it's okay to say that to friends joking, but not to non-friends and teach them about unspoken social rules.
Then I tell them that autistic kids have trouble reading unspoken rules. I ask them, if an autistic kid called a stranger the same names you can call a friend, could the other kids think the child was being a bully, and be mean to the child? A: Yes. I ask, but was he really being a bully? A: No.
And it's an aha! moment. A moment of horror, to be sure, as the child thinks back through the times when they may have inaccurately been mean to a child, but a moment of realization. This one talk isn't likely to change their behavior in the real world - that takes more than one talk from more than one source. But it plants the seed, makes the child slow down a bit and try for accuracy more before deeming someone a bully, and that's more than worth the three minutes it took me to walk them through the scenario.
by Creigh at Autism Spectrum Explained
I teach the kids I care for. I tell them, you know how you and your friends like to call each other silly names just for fun? Like your friend calls you Paul-poo-poo and you call him David-doo-doo? (Yes, kid sense of humor there.) What would happen if you called a kid who was not your friend that? Would they still think it was funny? Or might they think it was mean?
When we've established that it's the latter, I'll ask them how they know that it's okay to say that to friends joking, but not to non-friends and teach them about unspoken social rules.
Then I tell them that autistic kids have trouble reading unspoken rules. I ask them, if an autistic kid called a stranger the same names you can call a friend, could the other kids think the child was being a bully, and be mean to the child? A: Yes. I ask, but was he really being a bully? A: No.
And it's an aha! moment. A moment of horror, to be sure, as the child thinks back through the times when they may have inaccurately been mean to a child, but a moment of realization. This one talk isn't likely to change their behavior in the real world - that takes more than one talk from more than one source. But it plants the seed, makes the child slow down a bit and try for accuracy more before deeming someone a bully, and that's more than worth the three minutes it took me to walk them through the scenario.
