The Myth of “Official”: autism and self-diagnosis skeptics
by The Invisible Strings
"...This led me to believe that they would be relieved by the autism diagnosis.As I entered adulthood, I had become increasingly withdrawn…I had been socially isolating for a lot of years by the time I entered therapy. The family: increasingly concerned, perplexed. I thought learning of the diagnosis would be an epiphany for them; finally, a lot of things would make sense.
Instead, they refused to hear about it." READ MORE
by The Invisible Strings
"...This led me to believe that they would be relieved by the autism diagnosis.As I entered adulthood, I had become increasingly withdrawn…I had been socially isolating for a lot of years by the time I entered therapy. The family: increasingly concerned, perplexed. I thought learning of the diagnosis would be an epiphany for them; finally, a lot of things would make sense.
Instead, they refused to hear about it." READ MORE
disclosure
How do you tell your child they're autistic?
Creigh, from Autism Spectrum Explained
You should tell the child when they're young. Even when they're too young and you're sure they don't understand, tell them. Make it so this conversation never has to happen. Read picture books to them.
Here are some helpful links:
You should tell your kids that they're autistic by Chavisory's Notebook
Hairdryer brain vs toaster brain (good metaphor for kids)
"Autism is...?" Great picture book to read to kids about being autistic, HIGHLY recommend because it's an easy way to start introducing kids to autism in a way parents don't find threatening, nor do kids.
Also, here's a video explaining autism for kids, by an autistic kid. Good for elementary/middle school age, and also good for siblings: My Autism and Me
And, finally, one of the more important things to do is bone up on autism yourself. There's a great handout explaining autism to autistic adolescents (by autistic adults). Even if your child is too young for it, I recommend reading it yourself because it's a really great foundation on which to couch responses to any questions in a way that will reaffirm your child. Welcome to the Autistic Community!
READ MORE
Creigh, from Autism Spectrum Explained
You should tell the child when they're young. Even when they're too young and you're sure they don't understand, tell them. Make it so this conversation never has to happen. Read picture books to them.
Here are some helpful links:
You should tell your kids that they're autistic by Chavisory's Notebook
Hairdryer brain vs toaster brain (good metaphor for kids)
"Autism is...?" Great picture book to read to kids about being autistic, HIGHLY recommend because it's an easy way to start introducing kids to autism in a way parents don't find threatening, nor do kids.
Also, here's a video explaining autism for kids, by an autistic kid. Good for elementary/middle school age, and also good for siblings: My Autism and Me
And, finally, one of the more important things to do is bone up on autism yourself. There's a great handout explaining autism to autistic adolescents (by autistic adults). Even if your child is too young for it, I recommend reading it yourself because it's a really great foundation on which to couch responses to any questions in a way that will reaffirm your child. Welcome to the Autistic Community!
READ MORE
When should I tell my child they’re autistic, and how do I tell them?
by Autistic Not Weird
Of all the questions that I’ve seen posted on autism blogs or Facebook pages, this is one of the most common.
As someone who grew up with Asperger’s, and an ex-teacher who taught many autistic children, here’s my own perspective on it.
I always like to start with a positive picture. (To give proper credit, this is from Momtisms.)
There are two groups I see popping up when the “breaking the news” question is asked.
1) One group thinks that it’s better not to label them at a young age, because children should be given time to be children without their identity being forced on them.
2) The other group (the more popular group and certainly the louder group) say that the child needs to know as soon as possible. The sooner they understand their own brain, the less they feel isolated as they grow up.
My opinion? Both of these are right, and both of these are wrong. READ MORE
by Autistic Not Weird
Of all the questions that I’ve seen posted on autism blogs or Facebook pages, this is one of the most common.
As someone who grew up with Asperger’s, and an ex-teacher who taught many autistic children, here’s my own perspective on it.
I always like to start with a positive picture. (To give proper credit, this is from Momtisms.)
There are two groups I see popping up when the “breaking the news” question is asked.
1) One group thinks that it’s better not to label them at a young age, because children should be given time to be children without their identity being forced on them.
2) The other group (the more popular group and certainly the louder group) say that the child needs to know as soon as possible. The sooner they understand their own brain, the less they feel isolated as they grow up.
My opinion? Both of these are right, and both of these are wrong. READ MORE
What to do when your family doesn't accept autism
by Autistic, Not Weird
“My parents don’t accept that I am (or my child is) autistic. What should I do?” This question ranks pretty high on the most frequently asked list. We just recently had a discussion about it on Autistic Not Weird’s Facebook page, and I think it’s about time I wrote a full article. READ MORE
by Autistic, Not Weird
“My parents don’t accept that I am (or my child is) autistic. What should I do?” This question ranks pretty high on the most frequently asked list. We just recently had a discussion about it on Autistic Not Weird’s Facebook page, and I think it’s about time I wrote a full article. READ MORE
Autistic People Are... Taking Risks All The Time by Paula C. Durbin-Westby
Autistic people are….
… taking risks all the time. The risk I will focus on in this post is the very real risk to those of us who have chosen to be “out” Autistic, using our real names. There are people who are “out Autistic” who use aliases, and for very good reasons. I completely respect those reasons, do not expect or wish for those people to come forth with their “real” names, whatever those might be, and am learning more about why it might have been easier to make up a name, say Sally Ann Smith,* for all my advocacy work. Some people using aliases have done amazing work for and with and in the Autistic communities and “autism communities,” all without using their “real” identity. I thought that would be confusing for me to accomplish so have always used my real name, which is Paula C. Durbin-Westby. READ NOW
Autistic people are….
… taking risks all the time. The risk I will focus on in this post is the very real risk to those of us who have chosen to be “out” Autistic, using our real names. There are people who are “out Autistic” who use aliases, and for very good reasons. I completely respect those reasons, do not expect or wish for those people to come forth with their “real” names, whatever those might be, and am learning more about why it might have been easier to make up a name, say Sally Ann Smith,* for all my advocacy work. Some people using aliases have done amazing work for and with and in the Autistic communities and “autism communities,” all without using their “real” identity. I thought that would be confusing for me to accomplish so have always used my real name, which is Paula C. Durbin-Westby. READ NOW
"Coming Out As Autistic" - Adult Perspective
diagnosis
When professionals assume that parents of disabled kids see ghosts
by Real Social Skills
In the special needs service provision community, there is a strongly held narrative about what happens when a kid turns out to be disabled. This narrative causes a lot of problems.
According to this narrative:
by Real Social Skills
In the special needs service provision community, there is a strongly held narrative about what happens when a kid turns out to be disabled. This narrative causes a lot of problems.
According to this narrative:
- Professionals believe that parents have a strong emotional attachment to the typically developing kid they were expecting.
- They are usually in denial even about obvious signs of disability, and will hold on to their fantasy for as long as possible.
- At some point, the parents are forced to confront their child’s disability.
- They lose their fantasy of the child they expected, and this is emotionally devastating.
A Behavior Plan For Parents of Newly Diagnosed Autistic Children
by We Always Liked Picasso Anyway
Your feelings about autism are constructed by living in a world that fears and stigmatizes disabled lives. Your distress about an autism diagnosis are most certainly because of these unhealthy messages. Please remember that your behavior in regards to your child’s diagnosis is a choice. Signing this behavior plan means that you will always put the dignity, autonomy, and love for your child above buying into the dominant narrative of tragedy or the belief that autism is something that the Autistic person is doing to you.
by We Always Liked Picasso Anyway
Your feelings about autism are constructed by living in a world that fears and stigmatizes disabled lives. Your distress about an autism diagnosis are most certainly because of these unhealthy messages. Please remember that your behavior in regards to your child’s diagnosis is a choice. Signing this behavior plan means that you will always put the dignity, autonomy, and love for your child above buying into the dominant narrative of tragedy or the belief that autism is something that the Autistic person is doing to you.
- I promise to ...
When You Hate Your Diagnosis: Autism, Aspergers & Depression by Invisible Strings
The question I receive the most: “A family member who is on the autism spectrum is also struggling with depression. What can I do to help them?”I offered some initial thoughts in a recent post, but this time around I wanted to focus on a very specific facet of this issue.
One of the recurring themes in these questions is not just depression; it’s that the person is having a very hard time accepting the diagnosis. The individual is described as hating their spectrum traits to such an extent that they refuse to accept the diagnosis or even discuss it. READ MORE
The question I receive the most: “A family member who is on the autism spectrum is also struggling with depression. What can I do to help them?”I offered some initial thoughts in a recent post, but this time around I wanted to focus on a very specific facet of this issue.
One of the recurring themes in these questions is not just depression; it’s that the person is having a very hard time accepting the diagnosis. The individual is described as hating their spectrum traits to such an extent that they refuse to accept the diagnosis or even discuss it. READ MORE
Self-Diagnosed by Aspergers and Me
This is a topic I am still learning about, but I am very slow at it because it is often seen the most in communities, and I am not very good about participating in communities. I don’t actually expose myself to many communities, and those that I do, I tend to lurk in.However, despite all that, I do see things now and then, and there’s one trend in particular I want to comment on. That being – the apparent friction between those who are officially diagnosed, and those who are self-diagnosed. READ MORE
This is a topic I am still learning about, but I am very slow at it because it is often seen the most in communities, and I am not very good about participating in communities. I don’t actually expose myself to many communities, and those that I do, I tend to lurk in.However, despite all that, I do see things now and then, and there’s one trend in particular I want to comment on. That being – the apparent friction between those who are officially diagnosed, and those who are self-diagnosed. READ MORE
