So where do we go from here?
How do we make things better for our children and the adults they will become?
How do we make things better for our children and the adults they will become?
A Conversation with Ari
by Diary of a Mom
"...I’ve come to understand that everything that I do in this arena — everything — must be guided by one principle and one alone – respect for my daughter’s dignity and her right to self-determination. I told him that I used to assume, because I am her mother and I love her and I want nothing but the best for her, that everything that I did was in her best interest. I told him that I owed him and other self-advocates an immense debt because it was they who had shown me the folly – and the danger – of that assumption. I told him that it is because of people like him that I now know that it is not enough to act on her behalf based on my inherently flawed view of the world. That I must instead do everything in my power to help her ultimately act – on her own behalf – on hers. That that is my job.
That it is also my job to assume that she has something to say, no matter how she may express it. That it is my job to assume that she has an opinion, whether or not she’s yet been asked to share it. That it is my job to make sure that she IS asked – and to help her find a way to understand and to respond. That it is my job to arm her — with services and therapies and accommodations and supports — that will give her the power to navigate the world around her, that will enable her to fully participate in it to whatever degree she chooses – in her own way. That it is my job to remind anyone who comes near my kid to teach her or guide her that our goal is not to create an adult who is indistinguishable from others, but one who is safe, happy, and as self-sufficient as is possible and comfortable for her.
That it is my job to teach her to be proud of who she is." READ MORE
by Diary of a Mom
"...I’ve come to understand that everything that I do in this arena — everything — must be guided by one principle and one alone – respect for my daughter’s dignity and her right to self-determination. I told him that I used to assume, because I am her mother and I love her and I want nothing but the best for her, that everything that I did was in her best interest. I told him that I owed him and other self-advocates an immense debt because it was they who had shown me the folly – and the danger – of that assumption. I told him that it is because of people like him that I now know that it is not enough to act on her behalf based on my inherently flawed view of the world. That I must instead do everything in my power to help her ultimately act – on her own behalf – on hers. That that is my job.
That it is also my job to assume that she has something to say, no matter how she may express it. That it is my job to assume that she has an opinion, whether or not she’s yet been asked to share it. That it is my job to make sure that she IS asked – and to help her find a way to understand and to respond. That it is my job to arm her — with services and therapies and accommodations and supports — that will give her the power to navigate the world around her, that will enable her to fully participate in it to whatever degree she chooses – in her own way. That it is my job to remind anyone who comes near my kid to teach her or guide her that our goal is not to create an adult who is indistinguishable from others, but one who is safe, happy, and as self-sufficient as is possible and comfortable for her.
That it is my job to teach her to be proud of who she is." READ MORE
